tonks17: (Ben 10: Gwen gets waPOW'd by Ben)
[personal profile] tonks17
This little diddly was written in chunks. 1) The main idea, as it hit me in class, which leads to 2) the beginning of this here, typed starting at 11pm. At 12, Midnight Madness struck and you get 3) absolute cracktastic-ness, which lasted until 1am, at which point everything evolves to 4) a sudden fifteen-minute splurge of nosebleeding what the fuckery, which is crackier than crack. At 1:15 everything degenerated back to 5) more crack. See the a/n at the end for more details.

Title: It's All Gwen's Fault!
Originally Posted: October 21, 2008
Characters: Ben, Kevin, Gwen
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,445
Disclaimer: Ben 10: Alien Force was created by Man of Action and belongs to Cartoon Network. I'm only borrowing it to pass time in English class.
Summary: Gwen's being a silly bum. She apparently thinks putting Ben in a dress will entice Kevin into snogging Ben senseless. Crack!fic.
Warnings: cross-dressing. Oh dear God, why did I write this?

It's All Gwen's Fault!

"Why won't you ask me out?"

"Ugh, not again! Gwen, I already told you, I'm not asking you out."

"Why not?" Gwen was getting a little bit frustrated with Kevin's constant rejections.


"That's not an answer! You never give me a good reason!" Of course, she knows why. Who wouldn't know why, after watching Kevin for so long, Gwen started to see what she didn't want to see before. She sees his glances in the rear view mirror to the backseat, his sidelong stares down at the brunette, his despair when Ben gets hurt. Oh, she knows why Kevin won't ask her out. She just wants him to say it out loud. Pity Kevin's as stubborn as a two-ton boulder.


Ben was confused. Usually by now, Gwen would have started nagging Kevin about asking her out. Except this time, she wasn't. There weren't any aliens to fight, no problems at home with her parents to dwell on, and no recent arguments beyond the norm. So why was she not nagging Kevin?

"See you guys tomorrow," called Gwen as she got out of the car. Kevin pulled away from the curb and started heading to Ben's house. Ben sat in silence, still in the backseat, still confused by Gwen's sudden lack of nagging.

"Geez, Tennyson, what's up with you? Usually you make like a monkey and climb up front after Gwen leaves."

"Huh? Oh." Ben made like a monkey and climbed up front. "Sorry, I was thinking."

"Don't think too hard. Don't wanna hurt yourself."

Kevin pulled over in front of Ben's house. There weren't any lights; Ben's parents must have been out. Ben assumed they left for the neo-hippie convention they had been planning on attending for the last month. Ben invited Kevin inside; they needed to talk about Gwen.

"Soooooooo..." Ben was feeling a little bit awkward. He was talking about his cousin to the guy she liked after all. "Do you have any idea what's up with Gwen? She's been... too... nice, lately. She hasn't yelled at you."

"Pfft. You weren't there. She yelled at me yesterday for not having a reason why I haven't asked her out." Kevin shrugged. "Don't think that would be enough to get her to stop bugging me about it today."

"She's probably scheming some massive attack. Involving pink ruffles and rubber ducks."

"What? Noooooo! Gwen wouldn't wear pink ruffles would she?"

Ben laughed. "No, she wouldn't. She'd make you wear them." Kevin's eye twitched as he covered his head with his hands, mumbling about horrifying mental images. "I'm just joking." Ben prodded Kevin's arms in an attempt to save him from the ruffles. "If she's planning anything, it's a way to impress you or something."

"What? Why? Can't she just leave me alone?" Kevin wasn't looking forward to anything Gwen could have up her sleeves in this poker game.


Gwen was feeling exceptionally giddy today. She was contemplating the possibilities of Kevin actually going after Ben, and needless to say, the concept was certainly more entertaining than any ideas she had of herself with Kevin. She was so exceptionally giddy, in fact, that she was humming to herself! A happy tune! Outside of the shower!

Unfortunately, it seemed that her little fantasies weren't going to come true anytime soon. Kevin may like Ben, but he was not going to make a move unless he knew Ben liked him. And Ben wasn't going to do anything because he was Ben. Oblivious. She needed to take matters into her own hands. Gwen waltzed into the mall, looking for her aces.


Ben was confused again. Fifteen minutes ago, he was enjoying the peace and quiet of having the house to himself, when Gwen showed up. Humming. And carrying several suspicious looking bags. Next thing he knew, Ben was covered in the contents of those bags.

"Gwen, why am I wearing this?" He picked at the offending article of clothing.


"That&'s not an answer! I want a real reason!" Ben flapped his arms up and down.

"You'll see in a few minutes." Gwen continued riffling through her bags.

Needless to say, Ben was confused.


Kevin drove down the street. Gwen had called him earlier at the garage, asking him to head over to Ben's. Apparently she had something important to show him.

"Ben better not have been right about her pulling some crazy scheme on me." Kevin had a habit of talking to himself when he was alone. "I still haven't gotten those pink ruffles out of my head."

As he walked up to the front door, Kevin heard Ben yelling.

"WHAT!?!?!??! What do you mean Kevin's here!?!?!"

Kevin saw Ben's head peek around the curtains in the living room window. He also saw Ben's eyes bug out of his head followed by the sudden disappearance of Ben's head. He's kinda cute when he's surprised.

Gwen opened the front door. "Hi Kevin. Ben's hiding, so you might have to look for him."

"So, he's what you wanted to show me?"

"Yup." Gwen's smile was starting to scare Kevin. No one should look that happy when her cousin is scrambling around trying to hide. Not even Gwen. "Now go, go, go!"

Kevin found himself being pushed up the stairs. He didn't know what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't this. Ben was attempting to hide under his bed. Attempting to hide under his bed while wearing a dress. A pink, ruffled dress.

"Wha?" Intelligent, Levin. Real intelligent.

"Ohmygodit'snotwhatitlookslikeGwenmademewearitandIcouldn'tstophershe'sgonecrazy!!!!" Ben didn't fit completely under the bed, so his rear end (and the pink ruffles) stuck out, but his voice was muffled and, apparently, frantic.

"No idea what you just said. You'll have to come out so I can hear you." Kevin made to drag Ben out from under the bed. Ben's eyes bugged out of his head again when Kevin grabbed his waist and pulled him up. Kevin couldn't help but notice the (currently) pink and ruffled boy's face. He's kinda cute when he's flustered too.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Why are you wearing a dress?"

"AUGH!! It's all Gwen's fault! She showed up here half an hour ago all smiley and happy and and and and and and and giddy. Then she put this thing on me! THIS!!! On me!!!" Ben would have been flapping his arms up and down (again), but Kevin's arms were in the way. He still hadn't let go of Ben.

"I can see that. It is a most horrible crime again your masculinity. Especially since you look terrible in pink." Ben glared at Kevin for a moment, but only for a moment. The situation was just too funny.

"Didn't we guess that Gwen was going to do something like this?" Ben couldn't keep from chuckling at the previous day's relation to his current predicament.

"Yeah. But you said that I was gonna be the one wearing the pink ruffles." Kevin poked at the ruffles on the dress, as though handling a poisonous snake.

"Oh well, aren't you lucky. Now help me outta this thing." Ben tried to grab the zipper on the dress, but he couldn't move his arms. Kevin still hadn't let go of him. "Um... why are you still holding me?"


Ben huffed and tried to turn around. Kevin let go of him this time, and helped Ben unzip the dress.

"Um... why are you still touching my back?"


Ben shivered. There was something about Kevin's voice just then. He had no idea what it was, but he certainly hadn't heard Kevin speak like that before. And he certainly hadn't felt Kevin lick his ear before, either. On most normal days, Ben probably would have freaked out by now and tried to get away. But today was not a normal day. Today was a pink ruffled day and anything but normal. So, Ben let Kevin lick his ear. And his neck. And his collarbone. And he liked it.

So what if he was wearing a dress? So what if that dress wasn't on properly anymore? Ben didn't care. All he could feel was Kevin's lips on his shoulder, working their way back up his neck. Now if only those lips were on his own.


Gwen smiled the smile that scared Kevin earlier. As she crept down the stairs, she flipped through the pictures she just took through the door Kevin had left open. Giggling to herself, Gwen locked the front door and started walking home. Half a block later, she was humming again and waltzing down the street.


"So, Benji, would you explain to me why there aren't any rubber ducks?"


A/N: There you go. My attempt at another Bevin fic.
I wrote the middle (cracktastic) sections of this while listening to "Loverly Spring" from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events soundtrack. On repeat. Oh Thomas Newman, you are awesome. And you took Lemony's "Littlest Elf" idea and made it this wonderful piece of giddy. I do say it's the song Gwen was humming to herself. "the feeling is just too delicious." Gwen, you keep on waltzing down that street. Also... the line "And he liked it." made me break down with the giggles for about ten minutes for some odd reason.

November 9, 2009: GRRARGH! I think I want to burn this. KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! It sucks so much. The Redundant Department of Redundancy apparently visited me that day. Along with the crack fairy.

January 2010


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